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    Pre-Nuptial Agreements

    A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy foreign ambassador during lunch at a very expensive restaurant in New York.
    The ambassador was so enthralled by the beauty and presence of this secretary that he asked her to marry him. The secretary was startled, but remembered that her boss told her never to insult foreign dignitaries, so she decided to let him down easy.

    "I'll only marry you under three conditions."

    "Anything, anything," said the ambassador.

    "First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72 carat diamond, along with a 28 inch studded matching necklace for our engagement."

    Without hesitation, the ambassador picked up his cellular phone, called his personal accountant, told him the instructions, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!"

    The secretary thought that her first request was too easy, so she thought of a more difficult situation.

    "Second, I want you to build me a 58-acre mansion in the richest part of the Hamptons along with a 40-acre summer home in the sweetest vineyards of France."

    The ambassador picked up his phone, called his personal broker in New York, then called another broker in France, and after his quick conversation, he said, "Yes, yes, I build, I build!"

    The secretary was very startled, and knew she must think of a final request that would be impossible to live up to.

    "Finally," she said. "I'll only marry you if you have a 10-inch penis."

    A sad face befell the ambassador, and he cupped his face in his hands. After weeping in his native language for a few minutes, the ambassador slowly lifted his head and said, "Ok, ok, I cut, I cut!"

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  • replied
    hehehe! Something along those lines was in the news only a couple of days ago - OK, no bicycles were involved, * but adultery, divorce, and accusations flying hither and yon (all in a rather strict church).

    Ah, well then, a joke? I tend to like the kind that are either terribly clever, or terribly bad. Since I can't trust myself to understand the clever ones.......well........ look, all I am saying is get ready to groan now. (Oh yes, and give peace a chance, I suppose, too )


    One day Roy Rogers bought a brand-new pair of cowboy boots. Really expensive ones; they cost $800. He decided to wear them while riding Trigger. Well, the boots got caked with mud. Roy decided he'd leave the boots outside overnight so the mud would dry, and he could just knock the dried mud off in the morning.

    Well, during the night a mountain lion came down and, smelling the new leather, started chewing on the boots. Really mauled them. The next morning, Roy was vey upset. He decided he would track down the mountain lion and shoot it. He tracked and tracked, and finally found the culprit. He pulled out his six-gun and killed the animal. He put the mountain lion behind his saddle and headed home with his trophy.

    Seeing Roy ride up, Dale Evans called out to him...




    "Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed the new shoes?"


    * that we *know* of, that is, but remember Flann O'Brien's "The Third Policeman" and wonder whether bicycles are quite as innocent as they might appear to be.




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  • replied
    Originally posted by Prince_Michael
    so you like

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  • replied
    so you like

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  • replied
    LMAO,that is bad,,,,,hahahaha

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  • Prince_Michael
    started a topic borderline between clean & dirty

    borderline between clean & dirty

    PASTOR IN A SMALL TOWN


    This presbyterian pastor lived in a little hick town where everybody knows everyone's business. Every Sunday he rides his bicycle to church, & every sunday he takes the same route, & like clockwork there's always this guy sitting on his pourch waving hi to him as he rides by, but 1 week the pastor is walking to church. Like clockwork there is that guy on his pourch waving hi,& he said,"pastor I noticed you're walking this week. Where is your bike?" & the pastor replies, "Ya know someone accualy stole my bike. Do you have any idea on what I should do about it?" & the guy on the pourch replies,"Here's 1 idea. This week during your service, why don't you go through the Ten Comandments and when you get down to thou shall not steal lay it on real thick." & the pastor replies, "Ya know that just might work, I'll try that?" So he's going through his service, & he's going through the Ten Comandments, & when he got down to thou shall not steal, he laid it on as thick as peanutbutter, then everone started crunching up & looking around wondering who did it.Then he got down to thou shall not comit adultry & he rembered where he left his bike
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