What Does “Hoots Mon” Mean?

If you keep seeing the expression “hoots mon”, what does it mean?

“Hoots Mon” is a song written by Harry Robinson, and performed by Lord Rockingham’s XI. … “Hoots mon“, an interjection usually meaning “Hey man!” “There’s a moose loose aboot this hoose” (“There’s a mouse loose about this house”), a standard cliché highlighting Scots language pronunciation.

It means absolutely nothing, except maybe you’re reading something by some Anglo who wants to seem Scottish. It’s one of those things like “it’s a braw bricht moonlit nicht” or “she’ll no take it Captain, she’s brakin up!” which Scottish people never actually say. Sorry to disappoint you, especially if you’re a trekkie! If it was something a Scot would say, it would be said “hoots, man!” and would probably mean something like ” get outta here, dude!” but it has no real meaning and doesn’t exist in our vocabulary.

Hoots man is just a really “hilarious” term used by those South of the Borderers to make fun of the Scottish. And yes, those English folks are funny.