Tell me about a Scotland please!

[Polwarth]

Now Marty, ah ken fine that Sandy Bells is a 'broad kirk' but they let MARTIANS in?

[the_cube]

Dear The Martians! Thank you so much for your wonderful advice! I've written down all the pub names, and will definitely check out all the live music scenes, they seem like so much fun You wouldn't happen to know how long most bars are open in general over there?


Btw, It was a lovely essay you wrote there about Scotland, particularly the part where you compared IKEA to a graveyard. Am I to presume that if I meet a guy in Edinburgh, he's most likely going to have a skeleton or two in his closet?


And let's not confuse civility with insanity; I did get your attention didn't I?

[The Martians]

Originally Posted by the_cube

You wouldn't happen to know how long most bars are open in general over there?

Usually 11am until midnight/1am and 3am for the clubs. There's a nice little place called "The Scotsman" down by the railway station that opens at 6am if you feel the need.

Originally Posted by the_cube

Am I to presume that if I meet a guy in Edinburgh, he's most likely going to have a skeleton or two in his closet?

If he doesn't, we're sure you will make a most charming start to his collection

[kathyv]

Make sure you watch out for suspicious looking strangers lurking in doorways and outside living room windows. They CLAIM to be locals but we have proof they are here from a distant planet commonly said to be uninhabited. . .

A sure way to tell is if you check the Scotsman about 6:05 AM, anyone in there is likely apt to be from that place. You see, the rocket lag and the time change confuse them . . .

[the_cube]

Woaow, kathyv, so let me get this straight: If I visit the Scotsman at 6:05 AM (I'm assuming it's a bar), I will be greeted by an immense amount of pseudo Scottish peeping toms who really are just aliens from another planet?

That actually fascinates me Where can I find this Scotsman?

Thank you Kathyv for your good advice

[The Martians]

Scurrilous rumour-mongers the lot of you. We're all tucked up in our pit at that time of the morning, Martian hours are strictly 3pm-3am, so we may catch the minimum daylight required whilst still catching every showing of "Scrubs".

Although the daylight thing is a little redundant in the Festival, that bloody big bomb in the sky just won't go away.

If you really want to catch a Martian during the Festival you pin him up against the side of St Giles Cathedral (not really a cathedral, but we don't have time to go into that right now) and fling pound coins at him. Gerry reckons he's had more thrown at him than Hugh Dallas.

[The Martians]

Originally Posted by kathyv

They CLAIM to be locals but we have proof they are here from a distant planet commonly said to be uninhabited. . .

HEY!!!

Wales was just a holiday.....