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Why do Christian parents feel the need to be so over protective and sheltering?

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Old 27th January 2002, 04:32
mlejoy mlejoy is offline
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I grew up in a very religious family (my parents are Baptists, if you know what that is). We went to church 2-3 times a week, I went to Christian school for 12 years. When I was 17 years old I had never had a drink, never smoked, never did drugs, never been on a date by myself, and never been kissed, wasn't even allowed to watch R rated movies etc....So, at 17 I went off to college (a Christian college at that).

The first few years at college were fine...I was in what my parents would have considered all the right circles...doing the whole good little Christian girl bit...and I even believed in all that garbage too...God is love, God rewards those who serve him, God cares about me, blah blah blah... I was happy in my little sheltered world, in my little Christian universe.

But then something happened...a moment that changed my life forever, and after that nothing was ever the same...and I was able for the 1st time to see the world how it really was...with out the blinders put on me by the overbearing over protecting people who were constantly around in my little Christian world...no one should have to be 20 years old and have to find out in a brutal way that everything you thought was true was a lie...and that the God that you spent your whole life "serving" didn't really care about you after all.

So here is my point/question...I understand that religion is a big part of many people's lives...and that parents like to teach their children to follow the same religion that they do...but at some point enough is enough. You can't shelter kids forever.... you can't ask them to believe in something that is a total load of crap... and the sad thing is that my Mom really does believe in all of it...she even makes excuses for "God"...for example, if you ask her why 9/11 happened she'll say something like "Well, it was God's will and someday we'll know why it happened"... I don't understand how she can still believe in all that...she is 45 years old...she should know better by now... anyway...just wondering if there are any "Christians" in here... I'm curious to see what the reasoning is for doing this to kids...it's almost like brainwashing...I never knew anything else in my life expect for church. I was never even really exposed to anyone that wasn't "Christian"... anyway, I just don't think that's right. Especially in a Christian college...Why is there such a need to tell young adults how to live their life and impose stupid rules on them... It's not fair to let someone go about their life for 20 years devoting their life to a God who just doesn't care...and then on top of that to overprotect and shelter a kid and make them naive and trusting...it's just not right. There's got to be a better way to keep kids out of trouble than that.
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Old 27th January 2002, 21:30
ELIN175 ELIN175 is offline
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people created a God so they can make excuses of why certain things happen
I was just the opposite. I don't have much of a religion yet my parents were overprotective. They tell horrible stories about what goes on in the world like the crazy man who kidnapps children and later eats them.
Sometimes you just have to go out and take risks. It is interesting to hear about the different way different parents raise their children.
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Old 27th January 2002, 21:37
Mamie Mamie is offline
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God isn't your parent. You have 'free will'.

I'm not Christian but I'm sure some of them would tell you that there should be some balance between blindly following the faith and making children aware of the realities of life. That line About it being "Gods will" is so much crap. It's people who do things to people.
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Old 28th January 2002, 04:30
Rachel_E Rachel_E is offline
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First, I don't think anybody can say what happened in their lives and put it forth that it's that way for everybody else. I AM a Christian, but by that I do'nt mean someone of the general "christian" faith, who goes to church. Jesus is my God and my savior, and I have a close relationship w/ Him. My parents did make me go to church growing up, and I don't think of that as a bad thing. They also made me go to school and I am thankful for that as well. Though my parents did require me to go to church w/ them growing up, there's no way that they could force their "religion" on me. God IS real. And he created us w/ free wills, and free minds... he's not forcing Himself on us, and nobody else can force you to believe a certain way either. There comes a point in everyone's life when you must decide for yourself waht you believe. YOur parents may have WANTED you to believe a certain way, but you chose against that. Your parents cannot bring you into a relationship w/ Christ, but they can direct you and hope that you walk down that path. And I would never advise ANYBODY to be spoon fed, b/c believing things b/c another human person TELLS you to believe them gets you nowhere. It's a personal heartfelt decision to make.
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Old 1st February 2002, 07:21
mcghille mcghille is offline
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First of all, God doesn't make anything happen or will it to happen.
911 happened because of humans, whom God gave free will, decided to do what they did.
If you don't beleive in God then why do you believe in Him enough to be angry at Him for 911?
It sounds as though something horrible has happened to you, and if so I am very sorry for you.
I understand where you are coming from. I am a Christian, and my brother, was taken away from me when we were 17.
I was angry at God for a long time, but the truth is, no matter how angry you are, or for how long, God is always there loving you.
Christianity is not a load of bull crap and from the way you attack it, it sounds as if you fully believed this once and something horrible happened to you and now you blame God and feel betrayed by your Christianity.
I don't know what happened to you and I don't want to know, that is your private business, but the last time I looked at a fellow Christian I didn't see puppet strings from Heaven coming down. We are all born with free will and God honors that in us because He loves us enough to let us decide whether or not to follow Him.
But you have to remember one thing, if there is a God, there is a Devil, of if you prefer, if there is good, then there is evil. Why is it no one ever blames Satan for the bad things that happen?
I'm sorry if something horrible happened to you, you had your say and so I am having mine, if you need a friend to talk to, you are welcome to email me. Sometimes anonimity makes things easier to talk about.
"The greatest test of courage on the earth is to bear defeat without losing heart." -- R.G. Ingersoll
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Old 1st February 2002, 10:51
ANDY-J ANDY-J is offline
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I was brought up in a household where there was a nominal adherence to christian values but I was never encouraged to go to church or pray.I have two brothers,one of whom is a complete atheist and the other is a born again christian and a member of the salvation army.I have no adherence to any religious faith however I believe strongly in the existence of God,karma and reincarnation.No one ever encouraged me to pursue a spiritual path in life however I sought a path of spiritual learning of my own volition and free choice.From the experiences of my own family I don't believe that upbringing greatly affects one's beliefs in later life.I believe it is pointless to feel anger towards God.I don't accept that any of us has been forced to reincarnate in this life.We have chosen our paths in life before we are born and if we find ourselves in a life filled with suffering it is what we have chosen in order that we may learn and grow spiritually thereby attaining a truer knowledge of God.
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Old 1st February 2002, 14:28
Celto Celto is offline
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Hi mcghille,

I read your statement with interest--life is hard... Were you aware that we Celts to not see or view a battle between good and evil, or God and the Devil? We are what we call Monist. We have no concept of dualism.

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