Do we make reality?

[HollyElise]

Tom Sawyer... Maybe Colin Wilson makes more sense in context, but i found those quotes to be pretty obscure. I don't think that is what i'm getting at, but thanks anyway.

[HollyElise]

Originally posted by Sharp_Kid
I used to use this method with sporting.
I found that when I went into a race not so much expecting to win but certainly knowing that I could, I often did extraordinarily well.
I ended up representing England at 800m and 400m Hurdles when I was 15. I did 2:01:45 for the 800m and 55:22 for the 400mH, which is pretty bloody good for a 15 year old.
I think the limiting factor was the physical. There were people the same age as me, who did exactly the same training as me, and were in just as good shape as me, who never made the cut, and I think that it was the mentality that set us apart.
If I was having a **** day, and I had little faith in myself, I never ran anywhere near my best times, and it wasn't because i tried less, or was in worse shape.
Yes, I definitely think we can shape our own 'reality' through our thinking, but I personally think it probably has more to do with chemical levels than some strange form of mysticism.

I don't know if it's a chemical thing, but yes, this is the kind of thing i was talking about, or at least in part. I've read before, from many different sources actually, how successful "mind over matter" is in sports and how olympic athletes find it essential if they are to win.

I know some athletes say they preview their perfect performance and it helps calm them and focusses them on acheivement, and studies show that if they do both practice and visualization of practice they do better than if they spent all their time doing practice.

And i know when i learned about job interviewing in a class they had us practice and it helped i think... so i think it would apply to non-physical things too.

I can see where the practice and the visualizing a positive outcome (gaining confidence) would help... but is there more to it?

[thespitfiredragon]

In my experience I find that exactly the opposite of what I'm expecting happens...ALL THE TIME. If I'm expecting a relationship to go well...it's a nightmare...

Case in point...I was engaged to this guy for over a year, we had our wedding date set and everything..then two weeks ago he tells me that he's known he was gay since he was 14 and he up and leaves me for a Broadway performer named Tony. So, I'm left to call everyone we know and tell them that they can make other plans for the weekend in March that we were going to get married.

Now I was expecting this relationship to go well...

But when I expect things to go badly they work out really well. That's totally backward thinking though...

[HollyElise]

Thank you, Spitfire. That is a very good reminder. I have experienced surprises too. I'm still not clear on this topic.... when we have effect and when we don't.

I have a friend who is very big on "manefesting" these days and she swears it works. From what i gather, you basically make a wish (probably there is a little ritual involved) and then you "set it aside"... because she says you have to really believe it is already the case and doesn't require more attention... and then supposedly it just appears.

Has anyone here read the book Illusions by Richard Bach? Do you remember the scene with the blue feather? It makes me think of that.

[thespitfiredragon]

I remember reading something in one of the many self-help books that I read that is occasionally helpful...

When going into any situation you think of the best possible outcome, visualize it in a balloon, and then you watch it float away. You do the same thing with the WORST possible outcome...that way you're prepared for both ends of the spectrum whereas the result typically turns out to be somewhere in the middle.

Has anyone read the book "Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box" by The Arbinger Institute? I don't know whether this particular book would help anyone with the question of "Do we make our own reality?", but it has helped me better my relationship with everyone in my life...which in turn brightens my reality quite a bit.

[HollyElise]

Hmmm. No. I haven't read it. I guess personally i'm leaning towards thinking positively before going into a situation... and not also picturing the worse scenario.

If there is something you could do to reduce the chances of a negative thing happening, then it make sense to think about it but only so that you can prepare... like fastening a seat belt or buying insurance for a business or making a contingency plan in case of rain.

But if you are going for an interview and the worse case scenario is they could ridicule you or there could be a terrorist attack on the train... what would be the point of visualizing it? I think that would be unfruitful thinking because there is not really anything you can do about it. Big or small that kind of thinking only increases anxiety.

And i don't think that thinking about the worse possible outcome necessarily "prepares" you for it if it happens either. In fact i've known of people where the attention they gave to certain fears made it much harder for them to cope when it happened to come true.

And getting back to the making reality topic, in some cases it seemed like visualizing the worst case scenario made it more likely to happen. I'm thinking of a friend who was at high risk for cervical cancer which she shared with no one, but feared obsessively. Unfortunately dwelling on the possibility of her getting cervical cancer made her avoid getting recommended check-ups. Sure enough, when she finally did go it was because she had advanced symptoms that needed to be looked into and her prognosis was serious.

[thespitfiredragon]

Do you give any creedance to the theory that if you write something down it is more likely to happen...like the saying "A goal not written is only a wish"? I've read books where people swear by this. If this is true it would definitely be a form of creating your own destiny. I tried this when I was 12 and though I wrote it over and over I am 19 and STILL not married to Jonathan Taylor Thomas. lol. But then again I obviously wasn't using it correctly.

There's another theory that you can create you own destiny by thanking God (or whomever you reverence) for whatever you want BEFORE you receive it.

I've also had many instances where I've been thinking of something obscure and had something similar happen to me latter the same day or the next day. Once I was thinking of a scene in a movie where a girl was in the middle of washing her hair when the water turned off in her apartment building...she had tons of suds in her hair and was had to ultimately rinse her hair in the toilet. This was a totally random thought. A couple hours later I was in the shower, washing my hair when the plumber came to fix something in the guest bathroom. My brother let him in and he turned off the water...leaving me stranded in the shower dripping with suds (I did not stoop to rinsing my hair in the toilet though). Stuff like this happens to me all the time, but it happens in cycles. I'll go for a week or two without it happening and then it will happen six or seven times in just a couple days. It's weird.