Pet Rules

[Texasmujer]

PET RULES---to be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door, nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain mine. Pease note: placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food dishm noe do I find that esthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway ws not designed by NAASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bathroom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I FALL faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am sorry about this. Do no think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not mecessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years---canine or feline attendnace is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, THEN go smell the other dog's or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT MY PETS:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better then I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours, and doesn't speak clearly.

REMEMBER: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less.
2. Don't ask for money all the time.
3. Are easier to train.
4. Usually some when called.
5. Never drive your car.

[Babz]

I tried telling Dribz(my cat) all this but she just won't have it...apart from being so independant she is deaf !!

I do think that......no singing after 10pm should be included....lolololol

[Not_Just_DNA]

That was cute!

The proper order is kiss me, THEN go smell the other dog's or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

I have a Sheltie and this one hits pretty close to home for me!