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How to give a pill to a Cat vs Dog

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Old 9th March 2006, 15:17
HollyElise HollyElise is offline
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How to give a pill to a Cat vs Dog

How To Give A Cat A Pill

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a
baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth
and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As
cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.
Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left
arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws
tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to the back of the
mouth with the right forfinter. Hold mouth shut for the count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call
spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and
rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head
firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down
ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make
note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered
figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just
visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth
open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to
take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from
carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another
beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head
showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with
elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.
Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress
to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey
compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt
away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the
road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to
avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little *******'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and
bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from
shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be
rough a bout it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down
throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency
room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes
pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet
shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How To Give A Dog A Pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.

2. Toss it in the air.
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Old 4th September 2007, 15:37
gamequeen88 gamequeen88 is offline
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Posts: 34
thanks for you post,

it's quite useful for my boyfriend, i think
he is always headache that how to do it scitificly.
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Old 21st January 2010, 00:42
nemesis6969 nemesis6969 is offline
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Location: Jacksonville, Fl. USA
Posts: 9
Ha!!! That was funny!!! I have experienced some of those. I am Vet. Tech. or a Petnurse whatever you want to call it. The easiest way I have found to give a cat a pill is to have the cat sitting or someone else hold the cat open the cats mouth put the pill over the groove of the tongue and poke it in the throat with a pencil on the eraser end. It does make it easier.
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Old 29th January 2010, 10:31
DreadGod DreadGod is offline
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Location: London, UK
Posts: 116
Unhappy Mission Impossable

Have tried giving a cat a pill before. It was impossable, I didn't succeed. If you put it in his food he just didn't eat it. If you tried to make him swallow it he would just spit it out. Poor thing had to be put down not long after.
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Old 29th January 2010, 22:40
wullie m wullie m is offline
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Cat! two man job.

Wrap it in a towel and lie it on its back, shove in the pill, use a spoon handle if necessary to open the gub! it wont be pleased but that's life, for Peeps as well as Pets!
wullie m.
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Old 5th February 2010, 00:02
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tanya.bailey tanya.bailey is offline
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Location: Washington State, US
Posts: 48
Haha this is so funny, thankfully I have a cat who loves cheese so I just wrap pills in one of processed cheese slices and feed it to her. As for my dog I have perfected hollowing out hot-dogs to put them in, he is actually more difficult than my cat
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Old 13th May 2010, 19:14
hotleggs hotleggs is offline
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i am with tanya on this thats exactly correct, i dont think we would like too be forced like that wullie
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