Alright, Own UP !!!!

[linda_t]

Hi all,

Thanx for remebering me Willy!! Yep i am Scottish, from Glasgow!! I am currently a student but not for too much longer!! Speaking of which its exam time for me soon....HELP!! Anyone who has read any of my jokes posted on here will be "happy" to hear a have some new ones which I'll post later.....too long to type right now!!

Well best get back to the books!!

Take care all
Linda

[Willy]

(Oh Boy, Oh Boy, Oh Boy!!!!!)

...and see Linda, you were the first one I thought of! (where's those jokes? )

...let's see, (this is kind of like *trivia* )
...also dougans in East Kilbride, madjock, Jaicket, brundlefly, Paul Williams...hey and where has bluenose been?

Hey Di, is Celtic & Dangerous suppose to be Jackie? Fiona is Scottish.

Oh I'm gonna get in trouble for this, but AlanM is Scottish, he's living in Texas though. Sorry Alan.

[This message has been edited by Becca (edited 09 December 1999).]

[Willy]

Gosh Becca, I'm not sure...

(and I am s-o-o-o BAD with names anyway. Then everyone here has 2 or 3 names, not to mention Phil is really Scotty but Scotty45 is really John, etc. ... and you used to be....)

But yes, I know we WILL be in trouble forgetting to post others....

[linda_t]

Hi all,

Here are the promised "jokes"!! I'll let y'all decide if they are jokes or not!!!
Gotta warn you all....I had an exam today....then went to the pub.....little bit on the tiddly side...(nothing new there then!! ) Here goes:
A husband and wife are out for a drive through the countryside. They reach a familiar spot and the wife says, "Sweetheart, let's do the same thing we did here twenty years ago!" The husband stops the car. His wife backs against the fence, and he immediately jumps on her. They make lovelike never before. She started SCREAMING and GYRATING and SHAKING uncontrollably; and when it was over, much to her husband's surprise, she FAINTED! After he revived her and got her back into the car, the husband, quite astounded says: "Darlin', you sure never moved like that twentyyears ago-or ANYTIME SINCE that I can remember." The woman, gasping for breath, finally able to speak, says: "TWENTY YEARS AGO THAT DAMN FENCE WASN'T ELECTRIC!"

Heheheh....thats gotta raise a smile at least!! Here's another.....ermmmm apologies (if required) to any Texans around!!

A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new "city" outfit. He went into Marshall Fields and, when asked by a sweet young woman if she could help him, he answered, "Yes ma'am. Ya see, I'm from Texas and I want to buy a complete city outfit." Her eyes lit up as she asked, "Where would you like to start?" "Well, ma'am, how about a suit?" "Yes sir. What size?" "Size 53 tall, ma'am." "Wow, that's really big." "Yes ma'am, they really grow them big in Texas." "What's next?" she asked. He replied, "How about some shoes?" "What size?" "Size 15 double E." "Wow, that's really big!" "Yes ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas." "What's next?" "Well, I reckon I'll need a shirt." "Yes sir. What size?" "Nineteen and a half neck, sleeve 38," he replied. "Wow, that's really big!" "Yes ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas." "Will there be anything else?" she asked. "Yes ma'am. I spect I'll need a hat." "Yes sir. What size?" "Eight and five-eighths." "Wow, that's really big!" "Yes ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas." She virtually glowed as she asked, "Is there anything else I can do for you?" "No ma'am , I reckon that will be all." As the sweet young thing tallied up his bill, and as the Texan counted out his money, she blushed and asked, "Sir, could I ask you a question?" "Yes ma'am, I already know what it is. And the answer is four inches." Astonished, she blurted out, "Why, my boyfriend is bigger than that!" Without so much as a stutter, the Texan replied, "From the floor, ma'am?"

Hey US friends.....is this fair comment on any Texans you happen to know!! If so are any coming to Glasgow on holiday??!!!

take care
Linda

[eve1102]

Hi linda,
the jokes were good...especially the one on the texan.... to be honest the whole time i lived in texas i heard guys talkabout it all the time....

anymore jokes>>>

eve
happy girl

[Andrew_Marriott]

c'mon, now you're just cluttering up my topic about who is actually scottish and in Scotland.
Stick to the topic, PLEASE

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More Irn Bru !!!!