care to meet a frisky woman...

[Eleana]

thinking about I'd make my own thread, just for myself...

I'm sitting here at the airport of Edinburgh and musing about how things go and wallow a little in self pity.

Dangit, I forgot to mention, I am having the plague. Two kids. wow.

I am independant dont need a man for taking care of me and yet I'd love to have a friend as in friend.

Utterly frustrated, but will pass.

Have fun y'all!

Haste ye back.

[HollyElise]

Hi Eleana, Sandman, TartanTerror.....

I think it would be cool if we got a lot of people posting in Personal Ads.... much more fun for all of us! Also, I think if there were lots of us posting... people wouldn't feel as self conscious joining in. Don'tcha think?

Maybe we can liven things up if we each start a few posts that start conversation in some way... like asking opinions or... i don't know, maybe we can come up with a game of some sort?

[Eleana]

I'd like to agree. Alas, I am very frustrated if it concerns to internet relationships. I met a guy online and thought he's one to be trusted. I'm not talking about love, 'just' friendship. He told me off as he's up for a much younger model... lol such a cliche.

Anyway, how would you suggest getting a thread like that going?

[HollyElise]

i'm sorry to hear you had a bad experience. I think internet relationships may be no better or worse than non-internet... there are the good and bad for both.

You are still here, though... so you must not think meeting people on the internet is all bad.

As for how to start a thread... its just like starting any conversation... just think of something you'd like to talk about.

[Eleana]

Of course not all people are bad! I've made nice friends (all females!) on the net. Actually a couple of male friends but only in form of members of forums or groups.

Obviously it is much harder for men to form friendships with women. If they look for females then for dating purposes (genuine interest or for boosting their egos) and they only invest an effort in immediate available women.

[HollyElise]

Originally posted by Eleana
Of course not all people are bad! I've made nice friends (all females!) on the net. Actually a couple of male friends but only in form of members of forums or groups.

Obviously it is much harder for men to form friendships with women. If they look for females then for dating purposes (genuine interest or for boosting their egos) and they only invest an effort in immediate available women.

Originally posted by Eleana
Obviously it is much harder for men to form friendships with women. If they look for females then for dating purposes (genuine interest or for boosting their egos) and they only invest an effort in immediate available women.

[/b]

I think you are making a number of assumptions that i believe are false, and, LOL!.... i can't let it pass without commenting.

I have male friends (several) on the internet who do put in an effort and are not in it for dating purposes.

And i don't think it is "obvious" that it is much harder for men to form friendships with women... that may or may not be true, but it is unprovable and personally i never thought of it before, therefore it is hardly "obvious." I could also point out that a number of women appear to similarly be in "dating frenzy mode"... and not in a place where they are capable of a friendship with a man. At any rate, I certainly don't see any evidence that men are worse than women at friendship.

As for men interested in dating who are only interested in "immediately available women," I can hardly find fault with any man or woman who is thinking in practical terms. I can also think of at least 3 happily married couples i know personally who didn't think in practical terms, where one had to change continents. They certainly do not fit your theory.... proving that part of your statement untrue.

I'm not trying to be argumentative, its just that i know gender biases are serious handicaps for the person with the bias (as well as understandably irritating to the other gender), and you are certainly not the only person i've seen with gender biases. I have, however, only ever seen such beliefs where there is a scar underneath! It seems to be human nature that once we've taken possession of one negative belief we'll fabricate all sorts of "evidence" to support a universal theory. What we believe is true, will be true for all practical purposes, even if it is not actually true! We can wind up farther and farther down the path of cynicism until we finally face the truth underneath: we had a bad experience in the past, we got hurt, we can get over it, end of story.

My main my point is, so long as you believe that men on the internet are virtually incapable of friendship and won't invest an effort in you.... then it will certainly be true for you, even though others around you (like me) are finding some great male friends and relationships! Challenge your negative beliefs and ask yourself why you have them. Ask even your part in creating those situations of the past. All men are not as you describe.

[Eleana]

Are those men you know part of a group you joined? I have male friends who belong to the same group as I do. The shelter of the group allows to form interest and a somewhat friendship.

Holly, may it be that you have a bias yourself? Because you count your experiences and form a conclusion too. Neither you and I can draw a general conclusion safely, as we both only know a limited number of cases.

I've seen love and friendship formed over the internet. And yet! Apparantly it only works for a certain type of personalities.

I have never questioned the ability for men to form friendships in general. That would be a ridiculous thing to do. I said that men on the net who are looking for contacts are looking for easy dating. This statement was purposefully chosen to be provocative to stir up a discussion.

Many friendships are only aquaintences in real. They come and go. I have asked several men about my conclusions and they agreed, btw.

Thanks for your discussion, I like it.