A poem for a great nation.

[JackUnion]

Originally posted by Celyn

It seems that some of you still enjoy a bit of face-smashing, eh?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/3195924.stm

Celyn (who hates all football anyway)

That was the Dutch fans' fault. They just started kicking off for no reason but the English fans always get the blame for it.

[JackUnion]

Did you hear about the bigot who hates all things English? He makes a good living in the Concreting business, because almost everything in the City depends on this industry. It's just a pity that reinforced concrete was invented by W.B. Wilkinson in Newcastle, England.

Our bigot's home uses electric power generated by steam turbines, which were invented by Sir Charles Parsons. Many of his home appliances use electric motors, which were invented by Londoner Michael Faraday. These range from vacuum cleaners, the invention of Englishman Hubert Booth, to sewing machines, invented by Englishman Charles Weisenhall back in 1755.

However, not all of his appliances run on electric motors. There's his Microwave Oven, based on the Magnetron invented by Sir John Randall and Dr H A H Boot at Birmingham University. His modern Central Heating unit, designed by Englishman A H Barker, and even his TV set, the brainchild of Englishman Shelford Bidwell. Even the television's production depended on the invention of the cathode-ray tube by London physicist Sir William Crookes.

All of these things reminded our bigot too much of England, so he turned on his radio for news from another country more to his liking. It didn't help much though, because he remembered that satellite radio transmitters are powered by fuel cells invented by the English chemist Francis T Bacon.

He thought of expressing his frustration by writing an angry letter. But it wouldn't go anywhere without the postal system, created in London by Sir Rowland Hill. That is, unless he chose to send his letter by e-mail on a computer - the brainchild of Englishman Sir Charles Babbage.

Our bigot then briefly considered getting away from it all - flying off to some remote place with nothing to remind him of English genius. But then he recalled that modern jet aircraft engines were designed by English test pilot Sir Frank Whittle.

He then decided to do some home chores, so he thought about washing the dishes - but his kitchen sink is made of stainless steel, invented by Englishman Sir Harry Brearly. To make matters worse, he noticed that his favourite and most useful kitchen utensils were made of plastic, the brainchild of Birmingham professor Alexander Parkes.

So, desperate to avoid the brilliance of the English, he headed out doors - passing on the way his modern WC, designed by Londoner Alexander Cummings. Once outside, he noticed that the lawn was a bit overgrown because he couldn't bring himself to use the lawn mower, originally designed by Edwin Budding of Gloucestershire.

Our bigot, now completely distracted by anger, turned around and walked straight into one of his prized rose bushes, badly scratching his arms and hands. Briefly, he was glad that his Tetanus shots were up to date - until he remembered that immunisation was discovered by Dr Edward Jenner, another Gloucestershire man.

This was all too much - All of this contact with English brilliance just about gave the poor chap a heart attack. It's just as well that he had previously been fitted with a cardiac pacemaker, the invention of English surgeon W H Walshe.

Feeling very run-down, emotionally depressed and really quite ill, our bigot decided that he'd better go to the doctors for a check-up. After a brief consultation, the doctor announced that he needed an urgent blood transfusion to save his life. Fortunately, this was quickly arranged and our bigot survived - thanks mostly to James Blundell, who pioneered blood transfusions at Guy's Hospital, London.

[JackUnion]

Let England now rejoice with speed
since in heart the House decree'd
In granting a Free Parliament
to give true Subjects now content,
That we may rejoice and sing 5
that happy day we chus'd a King.

Shout the merry month of May,
we hope to see that happy day
Wherein they will so well agree
that we shall live in unity, 10
Whereby we may rejoice and sing,
that happy day we chus'd a King.

The Army it doth take a part
for to joyn with hand and heart
Whereby we may have a head 15
that may stand us in some stead
That we may rejoice and sing
that happy day we chus'd a King.

Apollo's wisdom God them send,
And Hercules's strength for to defend 20
That we all may live in peace,
and that these bloody wars may cease
Then we shall rejoice and sing
that happy day we chus'd a King.

This many years we've been in wo 25
not knowing well our friend from foe
Which brought the land into great strife
to kill and slay we were so rife
But now we will rejoice and sing
that happy day we chus'd a King. 30

Although we have then suffered long
we hope now for to change that song
That peace and truth may bear the sway
God grant us then that happy day
That we may rejoice and sing 35
when Charles the second is our King.

[JackUnion]

Ye Mariners of England

That guard our native seas,

Whose flag has braved, a thousand years,

The battle and the breeze,



Your glorious standard launch again

To match another foe:

And sweep through the deep,

While the stormy winds do blow;

While the battle rages loud and long

And the stormy winds do blow.



The spirits of your fathers

Shall start from every wave -

For the deck it was their field of flame

And Ocean was their grave.

Where Blake and mighty Nelson fell

Your manly hearts shall glow,

As ye sweep through the deep,

While the stormy winds do blow;

While the battle rages loud and long

And the stormy winds do blow.



Britannia needs no bulwarks,

No towers along the steep;

Her march is o'er the mountain waves,

Her home is on the deep.

With thunders from her native oak

She quells the floods below -

As they roar on the shore,

When the stormy winds do blow;

When the battle rages loud and long,

And the stormy winds do blow.



The meteor flag of England

Shall yet terrific burn;

Till danger's troubled night depart

And the star of peace return;

Then, then, ye ocean warriors!

Our song and feast shall flow

To the fame of your name,

When the storm has ceased to blow;

When the fiery fight is heard no more,

And the storm has ceased to blow.

[Celyn]

Anyway, I give up - who is the Blake mentioned? The only one that springs to mind is William Blake and it can't really be him.

btw - you do know the nationality of Campbell who wrote that, don't you?

[JackUnion]

Well he must have been Scottish.

[JackUnion]

No, it doesn't sound like its William Blake. I don't know which Blake it is.