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-   -   If There Was A Scottish Version of..... (http://www.Scotland.com/forums/literature-film/27678-if-there-scottish-version.html)

Lachlan09 2nd November 2010 13:31

If There Was A Scottish Version of.....
 
.....The Kama Sutra or Perfumed Garden, what would it be like and what delights would it offer ?

For some reason, back-closes spring to mind ! ;)

wullie m 2nd November 2010 13:45

Back closes, dunnies, knee tremblers, "is that you doon there Senga? come up here this minute, tell Jock tae get his...................his troosers", halcyon days indeed. If a title is needed , "A Honey fur the Dunnie", would be hard to beat!.

wullie

Lachlan09 6th November 2010 06:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by wullie m (Post 415373)
Back closes, dunnies, knee tremblers, "is that you doon there Senga? come up here this minute, tell Jock tae get his...................his troosers", halcyon days indeed. If a title is needed , "A Honey fur the Dunnie", would be hard to beat!.

wullie

All done with the heady perfume of a chipshop wafting up the close. :D

Cadbren 16th January 2011 05:54

A Scottish version of the Kama Sutra would be like walking past the Mills and Boon racks. Who paints all those covers anyway?

tig 16th January 2011 16:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by wullie m (Post 415373)
Back closes, dunnies, knee tremblers, "is that you doon there Senga? come up here this minute, tell Jock tae get his...................his troosers", halcyon days indeed. If a title is needed , "A Honey fur the Dunnie", would be hard to beat!.

wullie

:D:D:D
some "classy" chick you knew in your younger days then...is the opposite a laddy fur the lavy?

great title for a play or something

Lachlan09 18th January 2011 03:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by tig (Post 417312)
:D:D:D
...is the opposite a laddy fur the lavy?

Somebody would have to ask George Michael about that ! :D

Talking about laddy for the lavvy, it reminds me of a Dutch engineer colleague of mine when I worked in the Philippines a number of years ago. He was gay but it wasn’t apparent from his demeanour and appearance. He was up front about it though and even got sanctioned married-people’s allowance from our Dutch employer, as he was engaged to a young man from Bali, Indonesia.

His Balinese fiancée went to live in Amsterdam (not liking the Philippines so much) and my colleague carried on at our project. He then announced he would be going to Thailand on holiday with his fiancée. The plan was he would go up to Manila, fly out to Bangkok, stay in Bangkok for the weekend until his fiancée arrived from Holland 3 days later, then they would go off to Phuket for a fortnight. So far so good. It meant that he would be able to avail himself of the pleasures of the kathoeys (lady-boys) of Patpong 2 until his fiancée arrived.

So he left our town on the Friday morning and went up to Manila to fly out. Late that afternoon, our executive secretary got a phone call in the presence of our Aussie Project Manager and myself and she turned white before our eyes. I was asked to leave the room meantime as she told the PM. Moments later, the PM came to me and was shaking his head and looking very grave. He said to me “He’s done it this time ! I don’t bloody know how we’ll get round this one ! Why the hell couldn’t he wait ?”. Our guy was in police custody in Manila ! It turned out that the guy had gone to Manila right enough, but had found he had spare time before he needed to be at the airport. So he went off to P Burgos St, in Makati, a shady area in the business district of Manila. In one of the "entertainment" bars there, he had hooked up with some Filipino chap, gone to the toilets and was in the middle of receiving a Billy Joel when the police burst in on one of their periodic raids. A case of “You’re bleedin’ nicked mate !” (In Taglish) resulted.

The phone call our executive secretary received came from a Manila police station, where it looked like he was going to get prosecuted. It looked like it would mean – no freedom, no job, no fiancée.

However, a pleading phone call from our executive secretary to her old boss / our company mentor (who was high in the Philippine government/cabinet and minister of the justice department) and our guy was released the same afternoon, free to go on to Bangkok.

The question we all asked was, couldn’t he have read a book or gone to the pictures or something in Manila ? He only needed to wait a wee while, keep out of naughty places, catch the flight and would have been home-free in Bangkok with 3 days of exploring !! He wasn’t thinking with his brain ! (Guys often don't, where the promise of the carnal variety is involved of course, as we all know ! ;). )

Actually, he was also an opportunist. Although self-professed gay, he was not above hooking up with the female gender when it suited him or when no guys were available. Supply and demand and leaving the door open, I guess. :) But that's another story ! :p

OldeEnglish40 25th October 2011 15:00

Bangkok, indeed..........;)


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