THE GIRL WITH MANY EYES

[gavinburnett]

THE GIRL WITH MANY EYES

One day in the park
I had quite a surprise
I met a girl
Who had many eyes

She was really quite pretty
(And also quite shocking!)
And I noticed she had a mouth
So we ended up just talking

We talked about flowers and her poetry classed
And the problems she’d have if she ever wore glasses

It was great to know a girl who has so many eyes
But you really get wet when she breaks down and cries

[alpin]

second stanza, last line, consider removing the word "just".
to read, "So we ended up talking"

and 3rd stanza, 1st line, is that supposed to be "classes" so as to rhyme with glasses? or is classed what you meant?

the rhythm of your second stanza is a bit rough for the last two lines, but otherwise nice flow.