our poetry

[HollyElise]

I thought there was a string for this already, but i don't see one. I know others here write poetry as i see some lovely poems now and again. How about if we share them here?

I just started writing poems again after writing poems infrequently over the last few years. I feel rusty!






There is a soul

Like a warm gentle flame

That casts his warmth

Across the sea

And when i fear

The cold of life may take me

His warmth is there

And it's there for me.

I can not touch

This warmth so far

I can only look

To see his star

One star above us both it is

One star above us both.

[Sharp_Kid]

A bit depressing this one, but it's mine.
More to follow perhaps

The sunshine hurts my eyes,
The way the tears come like advancing tides,
The words that cut me deep,
The curse that breaks the spell on the moments I keep.

The treasure that I found,
You've stolen and you buried underground,
The songs that I held close,
You hated each and every word the most.

Your crushing blows bring screams,
Into nightmares turn dreams.

So throw,
Your stones,
At me.

[HollyElise]

Wow. I like it, SharpKid.

I'm currently writing a short series of poems about trauma, and didn't quite have the courage to post them here. I might post a couple of them in a week or two now, though.

I'm really glad you posted this. Do you write songs as well?

[HollyElise]

That isn't constructive criticism. That's just abuse.

[HollyElise]

It is not abusive because you don't like it. You, like everyone else, are entitled to your opinion. But if the manner of expressing your opinion is only hurtful, it is best to keep it to your self.

The reason your statement is abusive rather than constructive criticism is because there is nothing positive that can be constructed from it and it is in no way helpful to the author. It is only (if taken seriously) discouraging. You didn't say anything like you didn't like such and such aspect of the poem or make a suggestion as to how it could be improved or offer any positive thing to say about any part of it you thought was good or liked. These would have been examples of constructive criticism. I'm sure we would have heard from you comments such as yours were abusive if someone left them in response to one of your poems.

In another post today you say that you have written more than a hundred poems and yet you didn't share even one here in this thread. You have not offered a single positive statement here. To me this indicates you only wished to attack. I don't believe your motivation to comment to Sharpkid's poem had anything to do with constructive criticism.

I think you must suspect you are often abusive.

Please note you have not done anything for me. This is delusional.

You need professional help, Tom. Please seek it, for your own peace.

I am not angry with you. I sincerely wish you good luck and happiness. But please desist from abusing others.

[Ian12]

Star of love that shines so bright
wont you take my heart tonight
to the one I love so dear
thoe she lives not near
but her heart is bright like your shinning light
its warm and true
thats why I need you she needs a message from above
to let her know how much shes loved
and if I could I surely would hold her hand as we walked on sand
in a far away land but change is good it keeps us young
so we can enjoy the sun that takes your place when you are asleep
oh star of love your help I seek .

[Ian12]

critic Tom huh lol 1 if these forums are frivilous why stay 2 if everyone here hates you why stay, I think you may have fallen off your raft Tom maybe if you are lucky you will drown in self pitty but personaly I think you are more likely to suffocate with your head that far up your own _____.
Leave these people alone do your self a favour and get a life Tom sawyer

[Edited by kathyv on 8th June 2003 at 01:56]