Today is not good

[Pebbles2]

Because 3 years ago today, I had a devastating experience when I lost my baby in the 18th week of pregnancy.

I just went for a routine scan and was told that there was no heartbeat that my baby had died.

I had had no symptoms of this whatsoever and still find it hard to come to terms with.

I find it hard to talk to anybody about this apart from 2 close pals with similar experiences and thought by posting I could maybe find if anybody else has any experiences of this kind.

Pebs

[crying-charlie]

I am really sorry Pebbles, I do know a wee bit of what its like but only from a male point of view.

My closest female friend had the same thing happen to her 4 years ago!

She was told she was unable to have children and she had 2 girls via IVF. 7 years later she fell pregnant nuturally and was over the moon. She too whent for a scan and was told the same thing as you.

What alot of people don't realize is, when something like this happens to you, not only are you devastated but you yourself go through a grieving period for the loss.

She still, like you, remembers the day and has to be brave.

Huggs and kisses from Charlie

[Rachel_E]

Hey Pebs,
I won't begin to pretend I know how you feel, because even though others can try to understand your feelings, nobody can know what it's like unless they've been there themselves. I just know what my family went through. My aunt, who is more like my sister in age and closeness-- was pregnant 5 years ago. She was excited to find out she was carrying twins. But shortly thereafter, she was called into the doctor's office b/c some of the tests were abnormal. They told her then that one of her children had Downs Syndrome, as far as they could tell, but they "thought" the other would be "normal". That enough was something hard for a parent to hear but after a lot of praying and long talks they saw the blessing they still were facing. Of all disabilities for a child to have, Downs kids are loving and kind and they knew they could deal with that. It wasn't until the next appt. that they found out that one of their children had died. Only one heartbeat could be found. The doctors had no idea why the baby had died, nor which baby it was. And on top of that, didn't know the same thing would cause the other child to die. But Deanna had to carry both babies to term and give birth to them both, all the while afraid for her living child and praying that it would continue to live and grow. Her babies were born, Drew and Todd. Todd was the baby who had died (also the one with Downs) and Drew was perfectly healthy. It was such a bittersweet time though. Ecstatic for Drew, yet mourning over her other baby's death. We were all sad, but other people quickly forget the pain and forget that a mother (and father) remember those things forever. That's your child. So... I can't understand all that you feel, but I know that every Dec. 11th, I see Deanna as she's getting ready for Drew's birthday party, yet she has a little tear in her eye, as she puts another candle on the cake for Todd.

[lizwest]

Hi Pebbles

I had a devastating experience just last year..
My daughter fell pregnant to our joy as
prospective grandparents and of course to
her partner who looked forward to being a father.
After three months however it was found that her
baby had possibly died as noheartbeat could be
traced. The disappointment still lives with us
and grieving takes some time to work through.
Sometimes explanations from doctors etc. are
insufficient and difficult to come to terms with.
I just hope that things become easier for you in the
future.

Lizwest