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Depression - My story

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Old 16th January 2015, 15:53
AirdrieMale AirdrieMale is offline
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Smile Depression - My story

This might seem a bit downbeat for a Friday and for it being my first few posts on this forum but I wanted to share with you my story and journey through depression.

I didn't know what depression was. To me, it was something old people had and something people who didn't know how to smile had. My life was ok I guess. I had a job, friends, hobbies and a decent social life. Then I suddenly became more and more reclusive. Finding comfort in staying within the confines of my own flat. Rarely venturing out.

It subsided and I thought nothing of it. Relationships began and ended like they do and I never really got into a routine of living. I subsequently got into a bit of trouble with the law and was arrested and bailed pending a trial which happened and I was found guilty of common assault. In hindsight, it was the most ridiculous thing that's happened to me but I have learned and protected myself in the wrong way. I was given a community payback order which has been done.

In my personal life since then my life transformed. I met the woman of my dreams. Moved in to a lovely place together and got a job that I used to dream of when I was younger. Still, the depression haunts me at times. The darkness shrouds me when I least expect it to. I have taken solace in staying at home and not venturing out again. My partner says I should try writing things down and perhaps joining a forum - which I have now done.

I know this will pass. I have had help through NHS and therapy has helped but I just wanted to pass on my message and let people know that there are people out there that can help you.
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Old 17th January 2015, 02:33
lostinnz lostinnz is offline
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Winston Churchill, who suffered from depression all his life, referred to it as 'The black dog'. The pictorial book The Black Dog is, in my opinion. the clearest and best thing ever written to explain what it feels like to have depression.

Taming the black dog is another useful easy guide to managing depression. At least in Scotland, chances are you will have had some fantastic support to help you through each episode.

In NZ, anyone saying they feel depressed is told to 'harden up'. It's probably the reason we are No 1 in the world for suicide in young men between the ages of 16 and 25.

I wish you luck in your journey through life and hope you will find more sunshine than clouds in the years to come.
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Old 18th January 2015, 17:14
ANDY-J3 ANDY-J3 is offline
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I was diagnosed with depression over 20 years ago and was prescribed anti depressants which left me feeling totally spaced out so I stopped taking them after a week or so and since then I've only ever used natural remedies to alleviate it. In twenty years of combatting depression I've become quite adept at learning the methods that work. Vigorous exercise, eating plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables and oily fish - they're methods that actively stimulate the release of feel good hormones that can improve your mood. There are also natural anti-depressants that work in the same way as prescribed medication but with fewer side effects and they don't leave you feeling like a zombie. St John's Wort and 5 HTP are ones that I've tried and they both work in the short term but the method that always works best is being active and doing exercise - never just accept that you need to feel depressed. In my case I use long distance cycling and anytime I feel depression descending on me I just get on my bike and purge it out of my system.
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Old 5th May 2015, 20:51
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YerMaw YerMaw is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AirdrieMale View Post
This might seem a bit downbeat for a Friday and for it being my first few posts on this forum but I wanted to share with you my story and journey through depression.

I didn't know what depression was. To me, it was something old people had and something people who didn't know how to smile had. My life was ok I guess. I had a job, friends, hobbies and a decent social life. Then I suddenly became more and more reclusive. Finding comfort in staying within the confines of my own flat. Rarely venturing out.

It subsided and I thought nothing of it. Relationships began and ended like they do and I never really got into a routine of living. I subsequently got into a bit of trouble with the law and was arrested and bailed pending a trial which happened and I was found guilty of common assault. In hindsight, it was the most ridiculous thing that's happened to me but I have learned and protected myself in the wrong way. I was given a community payback order which has been done.

In my personal life since then my life transformed. I met the woman of my dreams. Moved in to a lovely place together and got a job that I used to dream of when I was younger. Still, the depression haunts me at times. The darkness shrouds me when I least expect it to. I have taken solace in staying at home and not venturing out again. My partner says I should try writing things down and perhaps joining a forum - which I have now done.

I know this will pass. I have had help through NHS and therapy has helped but I just wanted to pass on my message and let people know that there are people out there that can help you.
Sorry to read about that mate, it's a tricky one the depression as I have seen people tell those suffering to "get over it" or something equally as stupid.

Pulling for you mate!
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Old 10th May 2015, 10:10
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Lachlan09 Lachlan09 is offline
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I learned to make room for my quiet time and work around it.

I guess I first found it wasn’t the same as feeling sorry for myself when in my early twenties.

Finishing with a GF was more of a sad thing, ever the more so if I was really keen on her and I passed places we used to go etc. But I learned that wasn’t depression.

Depression for me was a much deeper thing and it just seems to come on when it wants, like an inevitable unwanted visitor. But it has been a regular visitor. I think it was originally maybe fed by my insecurity and feelings of “did I belong” etc but I really don’t know. But it became a habit. All I know is that for many years, I can be fine, everything’s good and jolly and then for no reason, maybe only a tiny thing may start it or nothing at all, I start to feel a bit quiet and begin darker thoughts. I say to myself “Here we go” and feel a sliding descent into a lonely place where I just want quietness and my own company. If it had a sound-track, it would be like that sound-system ad you get in cinemas, where the sound starts high then slides down and down to reach the low chord.

I get my darkest fears and thoughts filling my mind and may even calmly and quietly plan my own demise, not in a flurry of recrimination or grim satisfaction of saying “they’ll be sorry”, but just to slip away quietly and without fuss. My low period might last from 3 days to a week, then I rise up and am as right as rain ! As long as no-one fusses during the time and just lets me have some peace.

In recent years, these events are becoming rarer. Partly, it’s because there’s a lot going on and to think of and with me getting older, I guess I haven’t got the patience with myself to keep letting myself get depressed !

As Andy says, don’t let it rule you. You can make allowance for a quiet time till it passes but better if you can use your lone-time to do something positive, energetic, productive – keep busy.

Whatever you do, stay away from arguments !
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