Quote:
Originally posted by SherbrookeJacobite
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Quote:
Originally posted by PRgirl
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My goal is to raise an inquisitive child full of creativity and responsbility and caring for others and to be true to his or her own self always while being a person of good manners and excellent values. What do you think works with kids? I already know our child is going to speak more than one language. And will travel some. But what works for kids?
PRgirl.
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The advice from Wild-In-Tent is excellent. I have been happily married for almost 20 years, and have a 15 year old son (the hockey player), and an 11 year old daughter (the artist) - both of whom are my pride and joy.
PRgirl: Yes, Wild in Tent's reply was informative and good. But she is talking about biological babies who she has influenced since birth. Babies. I might adopt an older child who is from a poor country with bad circumstances and no schooling or previous exposure to anything like books and so on. I might also adopt a child with sight impairments or disabilities. Babies are extremely difficult to find and have much better possibilities of being adopted out. The older kids with histories of abuse and neglect are the most desperate for parents. I would love a baby, but I think the older ones need parents desperately as well. So, I talked it over with my husband and we are going to be flexible enough to include much older children with many disabilities. My only requirement is going to be that the child has normal intelligence and no mental retardation. My husband works with autistic adults and mental limitations and knows how hard it is to deal with that for a lifetime and I decided I can't cope with the anxiety of raising a child that will be dependent on my care for the rest of my life. And in the event of our deaths will go to some cold institution or strangers to live with. Can't cope with that Sherbrooke. So my only stipulation is that they can learn. I will deal with the psychological and physical traumas. The important thing is to enjoy the process of it all. I won't have ideal circumstances like Wild in Tent enjoyed with her children, shaping them from the womb. That is something I have accepted. The doctors told us we can have our own children. But there are kids already here desperate for love and attention and development. And I love all kids anyway. Adoption is great for us.
Based on what you have written PRgirl - you already know what you need to know. I think some little boy or girl is going to be very lucky! Unfortunately they don't come with owners manuals - you just have to deal with things as they come.
Kids learn most by example. If you want them to treat everyone with respect - then they have to see you treating everyone with respect. They will absorb your opinions and values just like little sponges.
PRgirl: Yes. I just hope they don't notice my defects until they are a little older. Lol. Oh, none of us are perfect. But if we take parenting seriously we care what we teach the little sponges by example. We do.
I wish you all the best, raising my children has been the best part of my life and I know you will never be sorry you decided to do it.
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PRgirl: I hope I can say the same thing too. Boy, that was hard work and worry galore. But it was all worth it. Yes, that would bring me incredible joy Sherbrooke. It would. My husband I know is a great man. The kid is gonna love him a lot. So do I. So do I.